2015 - 2016 Inter-Galactic Series Race 5 Report

As we were blessed with perfect foiling conditions: 10 – 12 knots ENE, gusting 15; and super flat water, AND it was sunny and warm! However, the Starting Officer then showed their dark-humoured side by starting the Optis and R-class at the same time. Massive Attack did the best job of barging through the line-louse Opti fleet – which herded them, sprat like, directly into Merde’s path. MoreFM and The Virtual sensibly opted to minimise the damage to them-selves and the junior club members – by cutting below the aggressive tangle of Optis and swearing Merde crew on the boat end of the line.

Having finally repelled all boarders, the slow and correspondingly sub-foiling Merde attempted to nibble at non-foiling Massive’s minimal head-start; but Young Nik was able to out-pinch Merde (which is a lot better than pinching out a merde – in y’ wetty – right?), generating gloating smiles aboard the leading Assive Mattack. Merde then got their merde together, un-floundered and applied max windward heal to attack Massive for the second time, scooting over the top o’ them – transferring the gloating smiles to Merde’s highly-uncivil crew.

TheVirtual had opted to put a reef in the main, and carry their baby jib – which, amazingly, gave terrific under power – well, Doh! And thus they were forced to sail low and free, leaving the arse-dragging but foiling MoreFeM to chase down the leading pack. So ensued a fascinating 2^nd/ 3^rd battle between foiling MoreFM and conventionally finned Massive Attack, with the former having the speed edge upwind; yet Massive would wind them back in downwind with the big-boy green kite and twin wiring combined crew weight of 245kgs (Nik 45kg + Doug 200kg).

TheVirtural were only occasionally able to bring the superfast new hydro-foils to bear after the top mark rounding, and their ongoing muppertry placed them in solid last place for the second lap. In contrast, TheMerde had overcome their former down-wind retardation and were having a blinder – with speeds over 17 knots being bragged about – which, regardless of them being not very nice people, is not too shabby for a 12 knot day. This put them clearly ahead; and they overcame minor mishaps – such as a near miss with an A-cat being as erratically helmed themselves, exchanging paint and pleasantries with a Starling at the bottom mark and a glancing blow off a Zephyr right on the line, while avoiding the beloved Optis that were finishing, still sprat-like, at exactly the same time – for a massive win, with the following boats trailing by a whole leg. Massive Attock overtook MourFM for the second time, just before the last kite drop. The normally wiley Steve and Tony combination caught a foil unfriendly lull for the last little up-wind dash to the finish and the distance from bottom mark to the line was too short for the advantage of foiling to show – so Nik and Doug were able snatch second – which just added to the embarrassment of Tony falling overboard in the first race. In one of their few high speed bursts, TheVirtual connected with a clump of seaweed, tearing the control mechanism free with enough force to split at the top of the foil, cementing their well-earned last place, on what was otherwise an excellent day.